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Now onto depression. After the raging fire of angry red, the remains are the smoking ashes and charcoal of the black pill. This is the most dangerous to the self, as the passion is gone, the amount of work is overwhelming, and the impact they have feels like nothing. They wallow in pity, not of the self, but they weep for the nation. The world they knew is gone, and the world they see is dead.
These people have died spiritually, and now just roam the land seeking their physical death. Suicide is high, as the path forward is ashen gray, and depressing. Reading more to find more information leads to uncovering more ash, not life: * The failings of government corruption beyond repair * Corporations exploiting this collapse * The failing of all balance in the ecosystems across the planet * Seeing more people enter into the red pill only to be eventually spat out and dumped in with you in the black pill
Hope dies slowly, then all at once. Everything is over, nothing can be done. Want a glimpse? See r/collapse if you really want to wallow in it. I'm warning you though, do NOT go if you are in a bad spot. I have purposely not linked it so you have to choose yourself to go.
This is the place of Ecclesiastes, "'Meaningless, meaningless', says the teacher, 'everything is meaningless, [...] a chasing after the wind". One may try to build up again the anger of the past red pill, to dive again into hedonism, to try and find anything to ignite and dig out of existential depression, but nothing works. Society does not work with these people, their danger to the system is gone, they are only a danger to themselves now, and that is fine for them. If you are in this spot though, its rough. I've been here. Counselling, therapy, and unpacking all of what I wrote so far is what is needed, but finding someone to get into this depth is very difficult, and costs a lot as well. Many do not make it through this area, they either climb back onto the anger of the "red until dead" movement, or die. This is a place of deep mourning, seeing what was lost, seeing no hope in the future, and nothing sparks joy. Getting out of bed is an effort, and even things like brushing teeth and basic hygiene are insurmountable chores that need to be done, rather than a part of daily life.
I am no doctor or therapist, but seek help if you can if you are in this position. There is a path forward, but it is not well travelled, and not well liked. Grab on to what you can to pull you out of this, be it a movement, God, making, just strive to find an 'it' that makes it worth while. It will take time. It took me 4 years of this, and I am still not 100% out of this. This is my relapse point, and it is rough.
You made it this far, I'm pulling for ya, we are all in this together. Breathe, and that is enough for today.
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